PDA Parent Guide

See the anxiety behind the “no.”

If everyday requests like getting dressed, brushing teeth or doing homework feel like a battle, you’re not alone. This gentle, illustrated guide helps you understand PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and demand avoidance through a compassionate lens. It then gives you practical, low-demand ways to support your child at home and at school.

It combines easy-to-read explainer pages with fill-in worksheets, so you can learn and build a personalised picture of your child at the same time.

WHAT’S INCLUDED (10 A4 pages)
✿ Cover page
✿ What is PDA? A gentle introduction to anxiety, control and demand avoidance
✿ How PDA Can Look: 8 common patterns, from delaying and negotiating to masking at school
✿ Understanding Demands: direct, indirect, internal, social and uncertainty-based demands
✿ Triggers and Early Signs: a tick-list to spot the clues before things escalate
✿ Supportive Language and Co-Regulation: scripts for low-demand connection
✿ What Helps at Home: choices, indirect requests, play, visuals, recovery time and more
✿ Meltdowns, Shutdowns and Recovery: what to do during and after, plus a recovery checklist
✿ Working With School and Professionals: what to share, helpful supports and questions for meetings
✿ My Child’s PDA Profile: a one-page personalised summary to share with others

PERFECT FOR
✿ Parents and carers who suspect or have been told their child has a PDA profile
✿ Families exploring low-demand approaches
✿ Sharing your child’s needs with teachers, SENCOs and professionals
✿ Grandparents, childminders and anyone else who cares for your child

HOW IT WORKS
This is an instant digital download. You’ll receive a PDF to print at home or at a print shop, or to read on screen. Print in colour on A4 paper (it also prints well on US Letter by choosing “fit to page”).

PLEASE NOTE
✿ No physical item will be sent.
✿ This guide is for information and support only. It is not a diagnostic tool and doesn’t replace professional advice. PDA is described differently by different professionals, so speak to your child’s GP, paediatrician or SENCO if you have concerns.
✿ For personal use only. Please don’t resell or redistribute.
✿ Colours may vary slightly depending on your screen and printer.

Pair it with our Parent Co-Regulation Script Cards and SEND School Meeting Planner for even more support 💛

Created with care by The SEN Advocate.